Her first baby walker

At 3 months only, she was already standing up holding on to anything that would enable her to stand on her tiny little feet. By 5 months old, she was making one or two steps holding on to anything. Anyways, that's when I decided to get her a baby walker.

It all seemed to be a really good idea to me, as it then would allow me to work around the house. Yes, BUT...our house is a double store one, and I didn't think of putting a gate to the steps leading downstairs...

I'm sure you can imagine what happened next...but I'll still tell you about it as it marked me to a point I couldn't imagine.

The very first time I put her in the walker I was so glad to see her smiling, moving and riding around the lounge. After playing with her for few minutes I decided to broom the lounge so she wouldn't get her feet dirty. Hnai kept walking happily around the lounge... Just one minute after I started brooming, I realised the eventual danger of her getting too close to the steps, so I quickly turned to Hnai, but all I could see was my baby making the last step towards the steps. It was too late...

I run as fast as I could, but I knew that it would be of no help no matter what; I screamed as hard as I could thinking that it might stop the walker from falling or that one of my siblings downstairs might hear me and save her from this terrible fall. I witnessed with horror the scene; the walker was rolling over and over with my baby in it and I couldn't do anything but watch and wait for it to stop. It was a real nightmare!

I'm not sure how long the scene went on for, but it seemed an eternity to me; I had time to pray about a hundred times that Hnai would come out indemn from this experience.

While the walker was rolling down the steps, I'm running right behind it and screaming like a crazy woman. Actually, as I think about the accident now, I remember thinking at that point to grab the walker while it was rolling over and over, but I had the strong impression that I shouldn't do anything until it gets to the bottom of the steps.

I kept shouting in french "ma fille! ma fille! ma fille!..." and I don't think anyone at that moment could have screamed louder than me... no, it's impossible! I'm can assure you that I was the loudest!!!

As soon as the walker reached the bottom of the steps I lifted it up and got Hnai out of it right away to see what the consequences were. To my great surprise, she only started crying when I carried her.

Now, if I was completely panicked and really loud when I picked her up, I was happy to hear her little voice as she cried!

I called Ula, my youngest sister so she could helped me take Hnai to the emergency. Ula was playing the piano when I started screaming that my baby was falling down the steps. She didn't realize what was happening really when she recalls the events. She told me that all she remembers is that she was enjoying her time when she heard me scream so loud it made her jump as she got a shock. Anyways, she saw me disappearing in the steps still screaming louder than ever and that's when she realized what was happening.

I was so panicked that I couldn't find the keys, couldn't stop screaming and couldn't stop thinking of how bad I was as a mother!!! My thougts were going all over the place, I feared that she died from that fall...I know that the term is really strong, but that's really how I felt at that point...I felt so terrible, but I tried to control the stress I hardly could calm down already...I've never been so scared in my entire life!

When I finally found the keys I told Ula to carry Hnai and to not let her sleep no matter what! My baby was crying and she was tired, her eyes kept closing and I kept saying to Ula "Don't let her sleep Ula, even if she wants to!"... I kept apologizing to my daughter hoping that I would wake up from this nightmare...

I drove the van to the emergency and let me tell you, there's never been a faster driving woman on the New Caledonian roads before me!!! There was no stops, no red lights and no giving ways...I was the only one driving on the road that day, no one else existed! I didn't care who was on the road, and I'm pretty sure that even if the police tried to stop me I don't think I would have stopped for anyone... I mean, HELLO, my daughter was dying there!!!

We finally got to the hospital about 10 really long years later. I didn't park the van (no time, and didn't care about doing any useless moves...), I took baby off Ula's hands and run to the emergency shouting out "Is there a doctor here? my daughter fell down the stairs!!! " Now, in my head I had the TV show ER as an exemple for the New Caledonian emergency room, but that was a dream!!! Someone, came up to me and tried to calm me down. I said "I want to see a doctor, my baby needs to be checked"... Appearently I was making so much noise that one of the doctors inside the rooms came out and told me rudely "Listen mam, your baby is crying and that means that she's okay, so wait as everyone is!"

Now, I know that we are taught at church to be nice to people that are rude, but right then, I didn't want to remember any scripture saying to love your enemy and bla bla bla!!! I looked at the doctor in his eyes and I said "Listen! There are exactly 12 steps leading downstairs at my house and my baby rolled over about 4 to 5 times before hitting the bottom while in her baby walker...I don't know about you, but she's only 5 months old and I think that she needs to be checked up right now...I tried to keep her awake on the way here and now she almost about to sleep and I'm scared that she might not wake up if she does so...I need help!!!" As he saw how panicked I was, he then said "Hey calm down madame, let me see your baby!" He checked her up for few minutes and told the nurse to take care of me in the meantime, but I refused. There was no way I could be away from her. Not right then, I needed to know if she was okay or not!

He checked her head, her arms and her legs..."nothing" he said. "She's fine! she probably cried as she heard you screaming and panicking!"

When he said that, I was so happy... but for some reason I couldn't stop shaking. The doctor told the nurse to give me some pills! I left the New Caledonian ER with a prescription for me, and my daughter in the end was healthy as and sleeping, recovering from all the emotions that her mother gave her...

On the way back home, Ula couldn't stop laughing at me! She realized that all this time, it was me that needed help, not baby! Every time she saw me on the mirror, she laught remembering how loud I screamed, how fast I was driving, and how rude I was to the doctor... and apparently it was all for...NOTHING... Oh, boy, that definetely is an experience I'm not ready to forget!